“Use your words!” is the most well-meaning, least effective sentence in parenting. A frustrated child ordered to speak better usually speaks less. Communication grows fastest when adults go first — showing, not demanding.
Model one step above
If your child says “car,” you say “red car!” If they say “red car,” you say “red car go!” This technique — called expansion — gives them the next rung without a single instruction. Aim for dozens of expansions a day; they take seconds each.
Offer choices instead of questions
“What do you want?” is hard. “Apple or banana?” is easy — and it still practices real communication: deciding, pointing, naming. Choices are training wheels for open questions.
Don't demand language from an upset child. Lend them yours: “You're mad the tower fell. Let's build it again.” They'll borrow those words next time.
Follow their focus
Join whatever has their attention — even if it's the seventeenth viewing of a cartoon bus. Talk about what they're already looking at and you'll get twice the response with half the effort.
Honor every form of communication
Points, pulls, grunts, and glances all count. Respond to the intent (“Oh! You want up!”) and the words will follow the gestures. Children talk more when every attempt works.
When communication stays stuck despite your best modeling, our expressive language program can map exactly which step needs support — and teach you the cues we use in sessions.
Speech Therapist at Softspoken Therapy Studio. Eight years specializing in articulation, phonology, and parent coaching.
Keep reading: Helping Kids Speak with Confidence • Building Confidence in Speech Skills